Be careful whom you take to your bed

I'm not one for adultery - not just out of loyalty, but it just seems that relationships are complicated enough without having more than one at a time, also, with work, dogs, cat, house and garden ....I mean, who's got time for a bit on the side!

But I must confess to an affair with the cat. No, not kinky, but I DID take her into the bedroom onto the bed and I DID do it behind my husband's back - so, bedroom, deceit, pretty much an affair really. If my husband was out, or if I knew that he was really tied up say with watching the news, or a boxing match, then I'd quietly sneak the cat into the bedroom and just enjoy her presence on the bed, as she purred not so much like a steam engine, but rather like wheezy distant thunder if you see what I mean. Just so much enjoyment it seemed almost illegal...

Then one day, she was sitting on my knee (not in the bedroom this time), and I felt my trousers getting rather damp. On investigation, it appeared that following a visit to her facilities, she had neglected to do the paperwork as it were.

Now the poor cat is some undefinable age over 11 (she was at least 3 when I got her in '02), and arthritic to boot. So I quite understand that she has a problem with personal hygiene, and am prepared to help her (rather to my surprise she appears to accept this). But have her on my bed, noooooo.

So, to my husband's chair, I am now vice chair, secretary and treasurer to the Keep Cats Out of the Bedroom Society. Well, they do say that adultery is a messy business.

Beating Darwin

Now I'm not one of those awful creationist types, but I do think that all this 'nature fighting tooth and claw' stuff is a bit of a stereotype. Yes, life is a struggle for food, but once the basics are in place different creatures can live together quite happily.

I firmly believe that animals have both emotions and a moral sense. I remember reading an article somewhere about a cat who would lead her elderly blind friend, a dog, to his food. Can you beat that?

And I think that's part of the reason why it's important for me to keep dogs and cats, and have them live together in harmony. Things were a bit difficult for a few weeks before Easter; Emily the cat had what turned out to be, £800 of vet fees later, a stomach upset (fortunately bill picked up by insurance, Sainsbury's, causing one to reflect on the politics and economics of healthcare!) There were some rather frantic attempts to separate food from dogs; fortunately now Emily has reverted to being Miss Piggy and eats with gusto, so no problems with unguarded food on the floor.

So, what I'm saying in a rather roundabout way is that having two very different species getting along peaceably together creates a sense of peace in one's house - sort of 'lion lying down with the lamb'. Although I don't think I'll try that particular one...